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dead。 And high pressure nervous syndrome…that turns out to be sudden convulsions; paralysis; and death if the carbondioxide content of the atmosphere drops too low。 Thats what the badges are for; to make sure we have enough CO2 in the air。 Thats the only reason we have the badges。 Nice; huh?〃
Norman flicked off the screen; sat back。 〃Well; I keep ''178'' ing back to the same point…theres not much we can do about it now。〃
〃Exactly what Barnes said。〃 Beth started pushing equipment around on her counter top; nervously。 Rearranging things。
〃Too bad we dont have a sample of those jellyfish;〃 Norman said。
〃Yes; but Im not sure how much good it would do; to tell the truth。〃 She frowned; shifted papers on the counter again。 〃Norman; Im not thinking very clearly down here。〃
〃Hows that?〃
〃After the; uh; accident; I came up here to look over my notes; review things。 And I checked the shrimps。 Remember how I told you they didnt have any stomach? Well; they do。 Id made a bad dissection; out of the midsagittal plane。 I just missed all the midline structures。 But theyre there; all right; the shrimps are normal。 And the squid? It turns out the one squid I dissected was a little anomalous。 It had an atrophic gill; but it had one。 And the other squid are perfectly normal。 Just what youd expect。 I was wrong; too hasty。 It really bothers me。〃
〃Is that why you took the Valium?〃
She nodded。 〃I hate to be sloppy。〃
〃Nobodys criticizing you。〃
〃If Harry or Ted reviewed my work and found that Id made these stupid mistakes 。。。〃
〃Whats wrong with a mistake?〃
〃I can hear them now: Just like a woman; not careful enough; too eager to make a discovery; trying to prove herself; too quick to draw conclusions。 Just like a woman。〃
〃Nobodys criticizing you; Beth。〃
〃I am。〃
〃Nobody else;〃 Norman said。 〃I think you ought to give yourself a break。〃
She stared at the lab bench。 Finally she said; 〃I cant。〃 Something about the way she said it touched him。 〃I understand;〃 Norman said; and a memory came rushing back to him。 〃You know; when I was a kid; I went to the beach with my younger brother。 Tim。 Hes dead now; but Tim was ''179'' about six at the time。 He couldnt swim yet。 My mother told me to watch him carefully; but when I got to the beach all my friends were there; body…surfing。 I didnt want to be bothered with my brother。 It was hard; because I wanted to be out in the big surf; and he had to stay close to shore。
〃Anyway; in the middle of the afternoon he es out of the water screaming bloody murder; absolutely screaming。 And tugging at his right side。 It turned out he had been stung by some kind of a jellyfish。 It was still attached to him; sticking to his side。 Then he collapsed on the beach。 One of the mothers ran over and took Timmy to the hospital; before I could even get out of the water。 I didnt know where he had gone。 I got to the hospital later。 My mother was already there。 Tim was in shock; I guess the poison was a heavy dose for his small body。 Anyway; nobody blamed me。 It wouldnt have mattered if I had been sitting right on the beach watching him like a hawk; he would still have been stung。 But I hadnt been sitting there; and I blamed myself for years; long after he was fine。 Every time Id see those scars on his side; I felt terrible guilt。 But you get over it。 Youre not responsible for everything that happens in the world。 You just arent。〃
There was a silence。 Somewhere in the habitat he heard a soft rhythmic knocking; a sort of thumping。 And the everpresent hum of the air handlers。
Beth was staring at him。 〃Seeing Edmunds die must have been hard for you。〃
〃Its funny;〃 Norman said。 〃I never made the connection; until right now。〃
〃Blocked it; I guess。 Want a Valium?〃
He smiled。 〃No。〃
〃You looked as if you were about to cry。〃
〃No。 Im fine。〃 He stood up; stretched。 He went over to the medicine kit and closed the white lid; came back。
Beth said; 〃What do you think about these messages were getting?〃
〃Beats me;〃 Norman said。 He sat down again。 〃Actually; I did have one crazy thought。 Do you suppose the messages and these animals were seeing are related?〃
〃Why?〃
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